so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We're not piercing ourselves today.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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