I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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