he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
