I wanna bring you to show and tell
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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