Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
