oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
