You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize