ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
