they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize