I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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