You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
