I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
