I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize