someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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