i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
