forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
