idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize