i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
