UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
