Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
