dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
