Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
