Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
