We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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