I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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