Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
