I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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