you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
