i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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