Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
