Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
