I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
not ubering you a puppy
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
