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So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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