random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize