i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she pinky promised me she was 18
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You ruined the universe
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