I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
