Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
do herpes really smell.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
