it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
