And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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