sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
