and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
