3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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