I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
