He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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