was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
