I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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