so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
