sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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