I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
