Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
