After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
