i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
