6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
