yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
