they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I believe in your delicious
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
