i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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