Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
