Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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