Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
