doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
