Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I deserve this hangover.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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