I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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