he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
